A Salute to All Veterans Plus an Update on Dad

The day is almost ending and what a day it’s been. With an unexpected day off, I knew exactly what I wanted to do….visit the Veteran’s Memorial in D.C. I salute you, all of you veterans. You are all heroes to me. I have met many of you, as a nurse, as a person, as a neighbor, as a friend…..and each one that I have met had their own story to tell and/or…. to keep secret.

As for Dad,
For a quick second, I had a flash of the future….what the experience would be like visiting the memorial today. It’s been over a year since I started the journey with my dad. You know, that journey into discovering PTSD and the core reason behind my Dad’s health problems…mainly (possibly, I’m no expert) his heart attack.
Yes, it’s been that long. Many kind readers tuned in when I shared my dad’s heart attack story and how his PTSD, post Vietnam OVER 38 years ago, affected his health AND how his entire life would unravel itself.
When I had that flash forward, I thought, “ummmm, maybe it’s not such a good idea”. Afterall, I wanted to spend this day with Dad and my family. So, I imagined me and my dad, standing there in front of the memorial, walking through the walkway as I did my usual…tracing my fingers over the hundreds of names listed on that wall, while I prayed for every single person and their families…then, I had an image of my Dad, and I saw my Dad, crying and having flashbacks. What would I do? I’m not strong enough,yet, to handle that and help him through it.
Yeah, I’m not ready and neither is he. So, we took Dad out to eat instead. He had a list of all these places that offered free meals and prizes, discounts to the Vets…but we ended up eating at his favorite Chinese buffet instead. When we picked him up for lunch, he had a different air about him. He has completely changed since last year. When he came out of the house to greet us…he was wearing his Navy hat and his military jacket…he appeared strong and wise, brave and unshaken…he looked like a Vet.

Since my Dad started his journey in unraveling his PTSD and getting to the bottom of his chronic ulcers, insomnia and heart problems….I experienced a few miracles.
One is not related to my Dad, but somehow is. Let me explain….I have a good friend who also suffered from PTSD, also post Vietnam, but he was in actual combat. Just this past year did he start seeking help…after a long battle with emotional problems, health issues and now, a diagnosis of chronic health conditions. He is one of the kindest people anyone could ever meet. He and his wife have been friends of mine for quite a while, so it was such a relief to his wife that he finally sought help.
Now, as for my Dad….well…it’s been a journey alright.
The first disappointment came when he filed for Veterans compensation…and was denied on almost all cases. They would pay him only about $100 monthly and that would be it. He asked me to help him appeal….but I didn’t know if it was worth it. I wanted him to just forget about it, forget about them….it’s just not worth putting yourself (and me) through this again.
It was such a nightmare…recounting his experiences, the terror, the flashbacks, his emotions, his hospitalizations, going through all his records and typing up every single ounce of it. I have to hear, again, his inability to sleep, his regrets, his nightmares and how he felt on those nights when he had night duty on the ship in the Vietnam waters.

So, I told him the truth, I physically and emotionally couldn’t handle it AND I wasn’t sure if it was worth it for him to put himself through that again.

But, he did…without telling me. It was a matter of redemption, I thought to myself. But, it was bigger than that….it was a matter of healing AND it was worth it. It was necessary and he knew it for himself.

All of a sudden, Dad started telling me how he cleaned up his clutter, got rid of a lot of his junk. Then I found out that he had been going to the VA Medical Center for further evaluations, following up on check-ups and checking out different programs they offer to help with PTSD. He was talking to other Vets and spending time at the VA to help himself.

I almost fell out of my BRA! I couldn’t believe he was actually doing all this! NO WONDER he seemed happier, brighter and was filled with energy!
I don’t know, maybe it’s because he was spending more time with his grandaughter (my daughter) or maybe he finally realized that he was worth it. Maybe, He might have seen all his hard work was worth it when he sees the freedom his grandaughter is blessed with, the choices she has in life and how vast the opportunities are that lay before her…..because there were soldiers to defend our rights and our freedom AND every grandaughter in the world is entitled to this.

His suffering and hard work WAS NOT for NOTHING. It was for something, something greater than we could ever understand or imagine.
Now, it’s not all perfect, he’s still working on the insomnia (and I HAVE GOT to make him his insomnia aromatherapy blend!) and he has just now started looking into joining talk groups, therapy groups and exploring what the VA has to offer people like him. But, I’m glad to report that the journey continues and there is always hope, when you have Faith!